Women were taught many lessons throughout history, and mostly, these lessons barely served them.
Back in the day, they lived much differently than modern women do, and some of the lessons they were taught would make women cringe today.
However, these lessons were taken seriously in the past, and now, we do realize how times have changed when we compare how women live in 2025.
So, let us go back in time and see what the average woman’s mindset was like.
1. Always Put His Needs First
Women were expected to always center their lives around their husbands and always put his needs first.
They would make dinners on time, make sure their clothes were clean and ironed, and they were expected to never burden their husbands with any emotional talk or unnecessary questions.
Today, luckily, marriages are seen as companionships where both sides deserve to be catered to and listened to. Focusing only on one partner turned out to be unhealthy and unfair.
2. Don’t Speak Unless Spoken To
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A quiet woman was seen as a good woman; she was supposed to be polite, well-mannered, and “ladylike.”
If you wanted to express your own opinion, you would receive some weird looks, and your opinion was often frowned upon. This would happen especially if you did it in public, in front of other men and your husband.
Girls were taught to simply nod, smile, or stay agreeable. You had to pretend that men simply knew better. Today, we are seen as equally smart, and we have the right to speak our minds.
Having your own opinion is seen as a strength, not a flaw.
3. Your Worth Depends on Your Looks
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If you wanted to marry well and live a good life, you had to look good. Worthy men wanted pretty wives, and you had to always look majestic, even when going grocery shopping.
Your hair, outfits, and makeup had to always look flawless. Girls who did not put effort into their looks were seen as less worthy.
This superficial outlook on women turned out to be flawed, as the real woman’s beauty is much deeper than that. Luckily, today, women are seen more as intellectual beings rather than pretty dolls.
4. A Husband Is the Goal
As a woman, your goal was to find a boyfriend, get married, and start a family. This was the norm, and it was forced on your mind from an early age.
From fairy tales, movies, to your grandma’s advice, you would believe that marriage and the perfect husband were the goal.
Saying you did not want to get married or have children was seen as weird, and your family would think something was wrong with you (and you would probably be deemed ‘ill’).
Thankfully, women are more aware of their desires and careers now, and while being married and having kids is a wonderful goal, it is not for everyone, and we finally realize that it is totally okay.
5. Good Girls Don’t Talk About Sex
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Sex education? Sex talk? Practically nonexistent, or wrapped in guilt and shame. Even conversations about menstrual cycles were deemed embarrassing.
Women were expected to stay “pure,” while men’s experiences were quietly accepted.
Even when married, women rarely discussed private stuff and would hardly even see doctors when they felt something was wrong.
Now, open conversations about sex, health, and consent are empowering and much needed.
6. Don’t Be Too Smart or Ambitious
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If you were a woman who “acted too smart”, you were often seen as intimidating or unattractive.
Of course, there were always exceptions, but you risked maybe not even finding a partner if you acted like this. Ambition was considered unladylike, even threatening to male egos.
Many women back in the day downplayed their intelligence so they could fit in or get by.
Thankfully, women today are confident in chasing their dreams and being ambitious, and men do not seem to mind at all.
7. Keep the House Spotless at All Costs
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Back in the day, women were advised to always be tidy and clean, as a messy home was once seen as a direct reflection of a woman’s worth.
Women were trained to scrub, polish, and fold with pride, even when they were sick, felt overburdened, or had just given birth.
Perfection simply had to be maintained, and if you did not, you were seen as lazy and unworthy.
Today, we are aware that perfection is not achievable, no matter how much you try, and that a woman’s mental and physical health is much more important than a clean home.
Also, husbands are seen as equal partners who are there to help, rather than seeing their wives as their personal maids.
8. Emotions Are Weakness
Crying, venting, or even being too happy was mostly seen as dramatic or unstable.
Women were expected to keep it together, especially if there were men or family around.
As a woman, you had to show little emotions and bottle up all your feelings, which later turned out to be very unhealthy.
You would sometimes open up to your friends, but even they would remind you of the rules: ‘Life is hard, deal with it.’ Luckily, today, we are aware of the importance of showing feelings, being open about our anxieties, and even going to therapy.
Women are not seen as these perfect wives that sit in the corner and smile anymore; they are seen as people with their own problems, thoughts, fears, and emotions.
9. Be Grateful, Even If You’re Unhappy
Unhappy in marriage? Overworked and unseen? Who cares, at least you have got a roof over your head.
Problems, especially emotional ones, were seen as being spoiled or overdramatic.
Women were expected to be happy with the bare minimum, and they would be scorned for ever complaining about something. Men worked hard, and women were supposed to be grateful.
The emotional neglect was never recognized, and women had to sit and suffer in silence.
Today, we know that happiness is important in marriage and that we cannot deny how unhealthy it can be when either party suppresses emotions.
